This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
