you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
