i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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