you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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