I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
