My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize