Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
