I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
