i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
