i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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