Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
two words...techno handjob
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
