I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
