Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
