I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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