Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
They have beer where we have blood.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
