I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Operation Purity has been aborted
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
