He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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