I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
