dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
