last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
