She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
