dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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