He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
