You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
