its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
