Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
