Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
