I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
