I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm really busy with my period
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