how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
