Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
