I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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