Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
