i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
