I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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