He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Houston, we have a blender
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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