no, he came in my armpit
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
