Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
