I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the condom got lost in my hair
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize