I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
