Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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