If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
