My brain says no but my pants say off.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you win again, gameday.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize