I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize