I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
