question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
