I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
