I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
