This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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