is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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