Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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