He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
do herpes really smell.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
