come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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