All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
