never play flip cup with pint glasses
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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