Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
