At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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