Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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