im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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