That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
