I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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