Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
