No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
