hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
