I love black thongs
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When did angry sex become our thing?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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