woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
