Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
