The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
