Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
