This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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