Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
