Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize