Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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