I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
