have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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